Stuart Broad, fresh from rebutting Kevin Pietersen’s comments about how England’s bowlers would’ve benefited from playing in the IPL, decides to call up the only person who will understand him, Michael Clarke.
(Patiently waits as the ring tone “It Ain’t me Babe” plays on.)
Michael Clarke: G’day Stuey! How goes it mate?
Stuart Broad: Hi there Pup! As the only other member of the league of blonde-haired, beautiful cricketers that voluntarily snubbed the IPL, I thought i’ll give you a ring, mate.
MC: That’s awfully nice of ya, Stuey.. Everything alright?
SB: Yeah mate! Its just that KP comments….
MC: Yeah, I saw that. What is up with that?
SB: You know, you wanna keep going along, stay out of the limelight a bit, but he drags you in..
MC: He is just an attention-grabber.. not like us. We get attention even when we don’t need it.
SB: I thought I’ll get some good ink about me in the English papers about how I snubbed the IPL monster and perhaps will make people forget about how petulant I have been on the field the past season. It was kind of hard, you know, considering all the money that was there on the table.. Did you see Makhaya played no games at all and still is gonna get a good cheque? Even my team mate Eoin, he played what 3-4 games? I wish I had thought about it a little longer before I had said no.
MC: I could have used a bit of change too, mate! The whole Lara issue may put a dent in my bank balance. I mean, look at Huss.. I would’ve gone to the IPL the same time he did, play a couple of games here and there.. Imagine this.. if I had been picked by Kings XI Punjab, nobody would’ve even noticed if I had not performed.. Yuvraj pretty much torpedoed that franchise this year…
SB: True. but I dont how I would’ve felt if I had been picked by Kings XI Punjab.. You know, you go around building all this reputation as the next great allrounder that’s gonna supplant Beefy and he hits you for 6 sixes.. the nerve of that man.. I couldn’t even find my Dad that day to complain to.. That sort of behavior should not be tolerated, you know what I mean?
MC: I understand mate..
SB: My reputation took a big hit.. We had to “wallop” West Indies in the test and ODI series and “pummel” Bangladesh in to submission for all the world to see, for me to gain some of it back.
MC: At least you didn’t have to contend with nude pics of your fiancee, did you?
SB: Oh right..
MC: Its been a little tough but I have been doing alright ever since I portrayed so much courage to join my mates to defeat those outrageously talented Kiwi team. Now I am the captain of the team.. I need to remember few things that punter has been texting me, lately!
SB: Oh yeah, congrats on that mate! How is that going?
MC: Well, considering the great job Punter did in the last T20 World Cup, if we make the 2nd round, I am off the hook!
SB: Right. Oops, I am getting a call from Luke Wright. We had talked earlier that we would go shopping for some hair gel.. You want some? I could bring it to the Caribbean for you.
MC: That’s alright mate! I have decided to shave off the do.
SB: Oh nooo… So i am the only one remaining in the league of blond-haired beautiful cricketers, then?
MC: I had to do it mate. Sorry. Perhaps now, they won’t recognize me and stop asking me questions about Lara.
SB: cheer up fella! It will all be alright. Talk to you soon.
MC: yeah Mate. See ya later.